I expected this Tom Hanks-directed comedy to be an uninspired, typical, by-the-books comedy. It seems I gave it too much credit. There’s absolutely nothing redeemable in this insipid little piece of fluff. Seeing as how Tom Hanks last directed, and wrote solo, the charming little comedy That Thing You Do!, my deductive reasoning for this film’s failure is the addition of “writer” Nia Vardalos, the breakout star discovered by Hanks and wife Rita Wilson in 2002, leading to her breakout hit My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Let us note, however, that since that Oscar-nominated smash, she’s written flop after flop after flop. So naturally, she’s the choice for Hanks!
Yes, this is gonna be one of those harsh reviews. This film feels like Hanks wanted to create a middle-class hero, a schluby victim of the recession, whose charm and earnestness lead him to take hold of his life and start anew. So he wrote that script, and I’d bet it wasn’t horrible. Then he gives it to Vardalos for a pass, and let the car wreck begin. Every single moment - I’m talking every plot point, prop, line, character - seems constructed only to deliver a “laugh”. Crowne is laid off, goes to community college, meets a sassy young scooter-driving girl who instantly takes enough of an instant shine to him to start changing his wardrobe, his hair, his house, his life. Why? Who is she? Why does she care about Larry? Who cares, Vardalos’ script tells us. She’s cute, and quirky!
And so we have countless things that are structured purely for “comedy” but deliver none of it. Garbled intercom joke. HA! Neighbor won game show. HA! Perpetual yard sale. HA! Scooter crash. HA! Weird George Takai. HA! Porn-loving husband. HA! No pants. HA! Puns! Misunderstandings! No cell phone in class! “George Bernard Shaw” sorta looks like “Geography Show” when written in bad writing! Listen, when you’re writing a comedy, and you have to make the pizza delivery guy bring your characters a large pizza, Salad Box™ and Cinnamon Eggs™ (HA! Those aren’t real, and sound quirky! How delightful!) in order to get a “laugh”, you’re doing it wrong.
Who is Larry Crowne? Dunno. Who is his teacher? Who knows. Why does she like Larry? Who knows. Who are these Scooter Kids that adopt Larry as their own? Who know. Why do they? Ditto. Hanks might as well have taken his script to Screenwriting 102 and asked the one student failing that class to do a punch-up for him.
